Married to a caring husband and having an affair confused..?


Hi I am 32 year old women married for 7 years. Had an arranged marriage in India and then came to US. I never had a physical attraction towards my husband. He is a very honest caring person. Loves me to death and he has encouraged me to pursue higher studies(PhD) and he has sacrificed so many things for me over the years. The only thing is that i never loved him and never had a passion for him. Coz of the cultural dilemma I just went along in this marriage and was comfortable too. 5 years ago I met a guy at my school and we became best friends. I used to share all my feelings with him and he was very caring and a handsome guy. Never knew when this friendship turned into love for each other and last year we started having physical contact with each other and continued for a year. I had this guilt of what I am doing to my perfect husband who thought we were just friends. Our love for each other was so much that we continued and now I am planning to get a divorce. My husband is heart broken with this news and I am feeling guilty and I feel like I used him. Now I am graduating I am leaving him, he is devastated. I moved out 2 days ago but I could not see my husband cry and sad like this. Am scared that he would do something to himself and I do care about him, just not in love. He feels so betrayed and I am not sure if I can live with this guilt for the rest of my life. I do love this other guy and dreaming of having a family together. Other hand my family has in India has disowned me and i don't know if I can leave with it. I am very confused.. Please tell me what would you do if you were in my situation? I don't want to hurt this man who has sacrificed so much for me, also I love my best friend and feel like he is the love of my life.. Me and my lover have already talked about moving in and future plans and now if I change my mind I am gonna break his heart too... I am really confused don't want to hurt either of them... Thank you
4 hours ago - 4 days left to answer.

Our partners


Lee lentamente esta oración y haz lo que se te dice sin ignorar los pasos que te pide seguir, porque si no obtendrás los resultados contrarios de lo que pidas. Piensa en la persona con la que quieres estar y di su nombre para ti 3 veces. Piensa en lo que quieres que ocurra con esa persona en la siguiente semana y repitelo para ti 6 veces.
Ahora piensa en lo que quieres con esa persona y dilo una vez, y ahora di.. Rayo de la luz yo te invoco para que desentierres a nombre de la persona de donde este o con quien este y le hagas llamarme hoy mismo enamorado y arrepentido. Desentierra todo lo que esta impidiendo que su nombre venga a mi -nuestro nombre-. Aparta a todos los que contribuyan a que nos apartemos y que el no piense mas en otras mujeres que solo piense en mi -nuestro nombre . Que el me llame y me ame, gracias, gracias por tu misterioso poder que siempre cumple con lo que se le pide. Luego tienes que publicar la oración tres veces, en tres sitios diferentes. Suerte


Married to a caring husband and having an affair confused..?


I just read it and am sorry that I had not read this before. I am an Indian 52 yr old, married male in an arranged marriage too. I too never had any attraction to my wife initially, even though she was very good looking. It goes with arranged marriages, especially when one marries late - I married when I was 30 years old. The thing about arranged marriages is that love comes later on. I am in love with my wife now, after going through an affair. My wife does not know about the affair I had. The affair actually enriched my marriage since I know for a certainty now that that my wife is my soul mate. I slowly fell out of love with my affair partner. I will never ever engage in another affair. It's way too much to lose and I would feel terribly guilty if I had to do that again. I do not regret having the affair since it opened my eyes. The grass is always greener on the other side.

My heart goes out to you. You've found the love and very likely, the passion will fade away with time. You've lost a caring husband whom you never had any attraction to. I simply wish I had a Yes or No answer to your question. I too would not know what to do in your shoes. I have written about my experiences above and if that is helpful to guide you, then do use that.

I don't think you used your husband at all. Passions come and go. One option I can think of is to tell your husband that you are simply not attracted to him physically. Open your heart out to him, like he is your best friend. See what he has to say! Go from there.

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